How do your kids spell love? T.I.M.E.

Recently, I spent some time talking with a friend of mine who is a single mom. She was sharing about the challenges her son was having in school. He’s just entering his teenage years, and he is having the same struggles as most of the kids his age–trying to manage the demands of an adult world while still trapped in an adolescent body. He’s interested in everything but school: girls, friends, fun, and most of all, finding his significance. Unfortunately, he is seeking to find his significance in some unhealthy ways. He is regularly in conflict with his teachers, and he is spending more and more of his time suffering the consequences of his poor choices. Clearly, he sounds like lots of kids, maybe even some that you know.

As I shared with his mom, and she unpacked more of his story, I recognized that I had heard the story many times before. Sadly, his parents divorced when he was about 8—a very formative time in his young life. His father had chosen to move on with his life, leaving his kids and their mother to go it alone. And although Dad is around, and occasionally sees the children, he rarely takes the initiative to invest in their lives. When they are together, the kids are more of a nuisance to their father than a necessary part of his life. And so this boy, who desperately needs the love and attention of his father, is seeking attention and approval in any way, and from anyone, who will give it to him. Unfortunately, he is seeking it most often in negative ways.

This story is a common one in today’s world, and it is not limited to any particular demographic. More and more, children are being deprived of the one thing they need the most—quality and quantity time with their parents. Sadly, as parents we’ve become proficient at providing our kids with things. But scripture reveals that the main thing the need from us . . . is us! In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, we find some amazing verses that emphasize the importance of investing spiritually in the lives of our children. In this text we are taught that the most important thing we can give them is the proper understanding of who God is and how we can know him through his Son, Jesus Christ.

But this text reveals that this is a lengthy process, and it requires us to be proactive. Notice what the text says about how we should do this: “These words should be on your heart and you must teach them diligently to your children”. . .

  • Talk of them when you sit in your house,
  • And when you walk by the way,
  • And when you lie down,
  • And when you rise,
  • You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand,
  • You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

These simple phrases provide us with an understanding that raising our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is not a Sunday event—it is a holistic process. We have to spend time every day living our faith and teaching our faith, if we want our children to grow up to be men and women of God. And, for this to occur, we have to spend time with our kids.

Notice the descriptive phrases again. Talk with your kids about God, and his purposes for their lives, when you are sitting in your house. Clearly, if the TV is always on, or our kids are trapped for hours in the fictitious worlds of video games, we will have trouble accomplishing this. We’re to invest in them while we’re spending time with them on a daily basis, always looking for those teachable moments. We’re to instruct them before they go to bed and over the breakfast table. When I was a child, we always ate dinner together as a family. Sadly, that tradition has evaporated in many places. Yet, those quiet moments before bed, and those crazy moments around the dinner table, provide us with great opportunities to teach our kids. Finally, our homes are to be defined by our own personal walk with God. In that way, our children understand that God is the heart of all we are and do.

Immediately, there will be some who can create plenty of reasons why these things are impractical or impossible. Yet, there is no substitute for spending time with our children. No one else is going to invest spiritually in the lives of our kids. Oh, sure, we will find help at church, but we have them 24/7, and God has given us this awesome privilege and responsibility. At some point, we have to understand that our kids need us! They need our time, attention, and affection. There is no substitute for this in their lives.

How can we accomplish this? We have to look at our own lives and habits and consider ways to create more time with our children. I understand that depending upon the make-up of the family, this can be especially difficult. I know many single moms who are stretched to their limits trying to fill the role of both Dad and Mom. Nevertheless, we can all accomplish more by adopting some simple changes. Here are a few I would suggest:

  1. Spend less of your together time watching TV. When you watch TV, you are in the same place, but you’re not together. Shut it off and play a family game instead.
  2. Eat as many meals together as a family as you can. Clearly, the demands of life may make this challenging, but don’t miss out on the opportunities you have. Ask your kids questions about their day, and share spiritual truth with them as you have opportunity.
  3. Plan special events together. Spending time together doesn’t require any money—it just requires imagination. Go to a park, or a museum, or a market, or a lake. Hike on trails, ride bikes in your neighborhood, or camp out in the back yard. All of these things keep you connected to your kids, and they create the environment where you can teach them about God.
  4. Worship together as a family. It is essential that you take your children to a good, Bible-believing church that offers great experiences for your children. We only have our kids for a little while. We must do everything we can to help them know God and discover His purpose for their lives.

As you can see, there are lots of ways that we can spend time with our kids. They need us to help them make sense of a senseless world. They need us to be their role models, their counselors, and their coaches. More than anything, they need us to help them discover who it is that God created them to be. They need us to help them discover their significance in this world. They need us to demonstrate our love for them. And for that to happen, they need our time, and lots of it!

How do your kids spell love? T.I.M.E.

Recently, I spent some time talking with a friend of mine who is a single mom. She was sharing about the challenges her son was having in school. He’s just entering his teenage years, and he is having the same struggles as most of the kids his age–trying to manage the demands of an adult world while still trapped in an adolescent body. He’s interested in everything but school: girls, friends, fun, and most of all, finding his significance. Unfortunately, he is seeking to find his significance in some unhealthy ways. He is regularly in conflict with his teachers, and he is spending more and more of his time suffering the consequences of his poor choices. Clearly, he sounds like lots of kids, maybe even some that you know.

As I shared with his mom, and she unpacked more of his story, I recognized that I had heard the story many times before. Sadly, his parents divorced when he was about 8—a very formative time in his young life. His father had chosen to move on with his life, leaving his kids and their mother to go it alone. And although Dad is around, and occasionally sees the children, he rarely takes the initiative to invest in their lives. When they are together, the kids are more of a nuisance to their father than a necessary part of his life. And so this boy, who desperately needs the love and attention of his father, is seeking attention and approval in any way, and from anyone, who will give it to him. Unfortunately, he is seeking it most often in negative ways.

This story is a common one in today’s world, and it is not limited to any particular demographic. More and more, children are being deprived of the one thing they need the most—quality and quantity time with their parents. Sadly, as parents we’ve become proficient at providing our kids with things. But scripture reveals that the main thing the need from us . . . is us! In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, we find some amazing verses that emphasize the importance of investing spiritually in the lives of our children. In this text we are taught that the most important thing we can give them is the proper understanding of who God is and how we can know him through his Son, Jesus Christ.

But this text reveals that this is a lengthy process, and it requires us to be proactive. Notice what the text says about how we should do this: “These words should be on your heart and you must teach them diligently to your children”. . .

  • Talk of them when you sit in your house,
  • And when you walk by the way,
  • And when you lie down,
  • And when you rise,
  • You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand,
  • You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

These simple phrases provide us with an understanding that raising our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is not a Sunday event—it is a holistic process. We have to spend time every day living our faith and teaching our faith, if we want our children to grow up to be men and women of God. And, for this to occur, we have to spend time with our kids.

Notice the descriptive phrases again. Talk with your kids about God, and his purposes for their lives, when you are sitting in your house. Clearly, if the TV is always on, or our kids are trapped for hours in the fictitious worlds of video games, we will have trouble accomplishing this. We’re to invest in them while we’re spending time with them on a daily basis, always looking for those teachable moments. We’re to instruct them before they go to bed and over the breakfast table. When I was a child, we always ate dinner together as a family. Sadly, that tradition has evaporated in many places. Yet, those quiet moments before bed, and those crazy moments around the dinner table, provide us with great opportunities to teach our kids. Finally, our homes are to be defined by our own personal walk with God. In that way, our children understand that God is the heart of all we are and do.

Immediately, there will be some who can create plenty of reasons why these things are impractical or impossible. Yet, there is no substitute for spending time with our children. No one else is going to invest spiritually in the lives of our kids. Oh, sure, we will find help at church, but we have them 24/7, and God has given us this awesome privilege and responsibility. At some point, we have to understand that our kids need us! They need our time, attention, and affection. There is no substitute for this in their lives.

How can we accomplish this? We have to look at our own lives and habits and consider ways to create more time with our children. I understand that depending upon the make-up of the family, this can be especially difficult. I know many single moms who are stretched to their limits trying to fill the role of both Dad and Mom. Nevertheless, we can all accomplish more by adopting some simple changes. Here are a few I would suggest:

  1. Spend less of your together time watching TV. When you watch TV, you are in the same place, but you’re not together. Shut it off and play a family game instead.
  2. Eat as many meals together as a family as you can. Clearly, the demands of life may make this challenging, but don’t miss out on the opportunities you have. Ask your kids questions about their day, and share spiritual truth with them as you have opportunity.
  3. Plan special events together. Spending time together doesn’t require any money—it just requires imagination. Go to a park, or a museum, or a market, or a lake. Hike on trails, ride bikes in your neighborhood, or camp out in the back yard. All of these things keep you connected to your kids, and they create the environment where you can teach them about God.
  4. Worship together as a family. It is essential that you take your children to a good, Bible-believing church that offers great experiences for your children. We only have our kids for a little while. We must do everything we can to help them know God and discover His purpose for their lives.

Recently, I spent some time talking with a friend of mine who is a single mom. She was sharing about the challenges her son was having in school. He’s just entering his teenage years, and he is having the same struggles as most of the kids his age–trying to manage the demands of an adult world while still trapped in an adolescent body. He’s interested in everything but school: girls, friends, fun, and most of all, finding his significance. Unfortunately, he is seeking to find his significance in some unhealthy ways. He is regularly in conflict with his teachers, and he is spending more and more of his time suffering the consequences of his poor choices. Clearly, he sounds like lots of kids, maybe even some that you know.

As I shared with his mom, and she unpacked more of his story, I recognized that I had heard the story many times before. Sadly, his parents divorced when he was about 8—a very formative time in his young life. His father had chosen to move on with his life, leaving his kids and their mother to go it alone. And although Dad is around, and occasionally sees the children, he rarely takes the initiative to invest in their lives. When they are together, the kids are more of a nuisance to their father than a necessary part of his life. And so this boy, who desperately needs the love and attention of his father, is seeking attention and approval in any way, and from anyone, who will give it to him. Unfortunately, he is seeking it most often in negative ways.

This story is a common one in today’s world, and it is not limited to any particular demographic. More and more, children are being deprived of the one thing they need the most—quality and quantity time with their parents. Sadly, as parents we’ve become proficient at providing our kids with things. But scripture reveals that the main thing the need from us . . . is us! In Deuteronomy 6:1-9, we find some amazing verses that emphasize the importance of investing spiritually in the lives of our children. In this text we are taught that the most important thing we can give them is the proper understanding of who God is and how we can know him through his Son, Jesus Christ.

But this text reveals that this is a lengthy process, and it requires us to be proactive. Notice what the text says about how we should do this: “These words should be on your heart and you must teach them diligently to your children”. . .

  • Talk of them when you sit in your house,
  • And when you walk by the way,
  • And when you lie down,
  • And when you rise,
  • You shall bind them as a sign upon your hand,
  • You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

These simple phrases provide us with an understanding that raising our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord is not a Sunday event—it is a holistic process. We have to spend time every day living our faith and teaching our faith, if we want our children to grow up to be men and women of God. And, for this to occur, we have to spend time with our kids.

Notice the descriptive phrases again. Talk with your kids about God, and his purposes for their lives, when you are sitting in your house. Clearly, if the TV is always on, or our kids are trapped for hours in the fictitious worlds of video games, we will have trouble accomplishing this. We’re to invest in them while we’re spending time with them on a daily basis, always looking for those teachable moments. We’re to instruct them before they go to bed and over the breakfast table. When I was a child, we always ate dinner together as a family. Sadly, that tradition has evaporated in many places. Yet, those quiet moments before bed, and those crazy moments around the dinner table, provide us with great opportunities to teach our kids. Finally, our homes are to be defined by our own personal walk with God. In that way, our children understand that God is the heart of all we are and do.

Immediately, there will be some who can create plenty of reasons why these things are impractical or impossible. Yet, there is no substitute for spending time with our children. No one else is going to invest spiritually in the lives of our kids. Oh, sure, we will find help at church, but we have them 24/7, and God has given us this awesome privilege and responsibility. At some point, we have to understand that our kids need us! They need our time, attention, and affection. There is no substitute for this in their lives.

How can we accomplish this? We have to look at our own lives and habits and consider ways to create more time with our children. I understand that depending upon the make-up of the family, this can be especially difficult. I know many single moms who are stretched to their limits trying to fill the role of both Dad and Mom. Nevertheless, we can all accomplish more by adopting some simple changes. Here are a few I would suggest:

  1. Spend less of your together time watching TV. When you watch TV, you are in the same place, but you’re not together. Shut it off and play a family game instead.
  2. Eat as many meals together as a family as you can. Clearly, the demands of life may make this challenging, but don’t miss out on the opportunities you have. Ask your kids questions about their day, and share spiritual truth with them as you have opportunity.
  3. Plan special events together. Spending time together doesn’t require any money—it just requires imagination. Go to a park, or a museum, or a market, or a lake. Hike on trails, ride bikes in your neighborhood, or camp out in the back yard. All of these things keep you connected to your kids, and they create the environment where you can teach them about God.
  4. Worship together as a family. It is essential that you take your children to a good, Bible-believing church that offers great experiences for your children. We only have our kids for a little while. We must do everything we can to help them know God and discover His purpose for their lives.

As you can see, there are lots of ways that we can spend time with our kids. They need us to help them make sense of a senseless world. They need us to be their role models, their counselors, and their coaches. More than anything, they need us to help them discover who it is that God created them to be. They need us to help them discover their significance in this world. They need us to demonstrate our love for them. And for that to happen, they need our time, and lots of it!

As you can see, there are lots of ways that we can spend time with our kids. They need us to help them make sense of a senseless world. They need us to be their role models, their counselors, and their coaches. More than anything, they need us to help them discover who it is that God created them to be. They need us to help them discover their significance in this world. They need us to demonstrate our love for them. And for that to happen, they need our time, and lots of it!

How do your kids spell love? T.I.M.E.